2018 into 2019: A Year of Review in Books!

2018 Book List
Books and Novels included:
“Homegoing” by Yaa Gyasi
“The Painted Drum” by Louise Erdrich
“Exit West” by Moshin Hamid
“The Song Poet” by Kao Kalia Yang
“Pure” by Linda Kay Klein
“The Future Home of the Living God” by Louise Erdrich

Wow! It is already mid-April, almost one third of the way through the new year. I wanted to take a moment to reflect and review some of the incredible novels and books I’ve read this past year. A group of friends and I started a monthly book club in the beginning of 2018. It’s been a great way to motivate me to keep reading and been so awesome to be able to process afterwards with some good company. The majority of the books listed below I read alongside my group of friends, but a few I read on my own. Take a look at my brief snapshot reviews of them:

“Homegoing” by Yaa Gyasi

I never read a book before quite like “Homegoing”. This author recounts stories of two half-sisters across a span of 7 generations and chronicles each ancestor’s life and how the smallest of circumstances changed the course of their realities. At times this book can be pretty graphic, so I found it incredibly helpful to read in small sittings usually just one chapter at a time. From recounting the details of being sold into slavery and surviving the Middle Passage to life on the plantations and Jim Crow up to present day she tells the stories of her two main characters’ families in a way that is so compelling, heart-breaking and unflinchingly honest in its portrayal of black life. The amount of research the author must have done in order to write from the perspective of people over 300 years ago in Sub-Saharan and West Africa to present day was simply astounding. Definitely a worth-while read.

“The Painted Drum” by Louise Erdrich

This is one of my favorites by Louise Erdrich. I read it back in 2017 for the first time and have reread it two times since. The story begins in present day New England when the main character comes upon a painted drum while appraising an estate and decides to keep it for herself. While tracing the journey of a Native family’s sacred drum and the powerful role it plays, she interweaves the stories of multiple related characters spanning generations of family while exploring themes of love, loss and redemption. As I said earlier, this is one of my favorites by Erdrich.

“Exit West” by Mohsin Hamid

This novel was such an interesting read for me. It jumps back and forth between multiple stories across the globe and by doing so is able to take a kind of birds-eye view on the effects of nationalism, war and violence. As one of my friends put it, “(this book is) an analysis of the psychological effects of migration.” I won’t give too much away, but this author chooses the metaphor of a sovereign nation’s border to be presented as a literal door or gateway entrance one can walk through. The main characters are constantly moving through these doors in between countries so it allows the reader to focus on the emotional experience as well as the power dynamics of those being forced to leave, and of those guarding their entries. What I enjoyed about this book was that Hamid ends it in an unexpected way, but still leaves you incredibly satisfied and hopeful.

“Pure” by Linda Kay Klein

Linda Kay Klein dives deep in this book into the world of purity culture and examines the damaging effects evangelical Christianity and American culture at large has had in shaping young woman’s self-esteem and sexual identity. Kay Klein conducts dozens of interviews that are shared in this book from people of all walks of life who have been impacted by purity culture or evangelical churches’ messaging about sex and sexuality. She shares research on the public policy during the mid to late ’90’s that drove the funding for more conservative messaging around sex education and demystifies the notion that it should be considered healthy or normal. What I love about this book is that you don’t have to come from an evangelical Christian–or even Christian– background to relate to what she writes about. For Kay Klein it’s clear this topic is personal; at the end she shares how her expression of her faith has changed and evolved through her research. A very interesting read for anyone interested in the evangelical church’s influence on young woman coming of age in the mid to late 90’s and its impact today.

“The Song Poet” by Kao Kalia Yang

Kao Kalia Yang is a force to be reckoned with. It was just announced this past week that the story of “The Song Poet” is being made into an opera at the Minnesota Opera . If you have read Yang’s other nonfiction work, “The Late Homecomer”, then this may not come as a surprise to you. Her lyrical and poetic style of writing is par none. This book is written from the point of view of her father, from when he was a young boy before the Vietnam war and traces his journey through his songs he shares as a young father with his children (one of them being the author). Yang’s work is emotionally compelling; she writes from perspective of her father and interweaves the songs he sang throughout his life, chronicling the hopes and challenges of coming of age as a young man learning how to tell his own story, his family’s, and that of the Hmong people. A must read.

“The Future Home of the Living God” by Louise Erdrich

I wrote a blog post last winter about this one, so I won’t go into the details. Check out my prior post for my thoughts on this one!B

Book Review: Future Home of the Living God

Louise Erdrich pic 2

I recently read “Future Home of the Living God” by Louise Erdrich with a group of friends who formed a book club.

**Spoiler Alerts! Only read if you are finished reading this book, or don’t mind 😛

After putting this novel down my first thought was “WTF!?” I had been rooting for Cedar, the protagonist in this novel, so hard. It seemed like the book ended with her being totally defeated and crushed by the repressive regime that claims to be “Christian” was an unnecessary ending. I felt betrayed by the author and this book for about an hour after reading. Seriously, I was pissed.

However, when I took a step back and didn’t focus in on every single detail or emotionally grueling turn Erdrich took us on, I was able to see the beauty and purpose behind her novel. By drawing us so closely in with the protagonist Cedar, the father of her child Phil, as well as her adopted and Native family, she allows us to glimpse into a world and feel, as close as we possibly could, the weight of reality in a repressive regime designed to control life from beginning to end. We begin to see how corrupted power, specifically of the very source that brings us life, can have varying and peculiar effects on everyone–both those in control and those being repressed.

The brilliance of this novel is perhaps not that it provides answers to pressing global issues we are facing in our world today, but that it poses so many questions: Does climate change, or any social change for that matter, truly mean the end of the world (i.e. “apocalypse”), or can a new way of life be embraced and found in the chaos? Does the government have a right to control new life, or do those decisions belong to women alone? Finally, what role does religion, specifically Christianity, play in all of this?

It is women who bear, hold and bring new life. They bring to life the soul of the world. This is what makes it so overwhelmingly ironic that somehow, we fear this part of our very existence as humans; we try relentlessly to control the very source that birthed us to life.  No force, not even the end of the world, can take away the fierce strength and love of a mother for her child. Despite the most insurmountable of odds, Cedar gives birth, survives and still maintains hope for a day filled with wonder and magic of a new life for herself and those whom she loves, especially her beloved son.

Everyone has a person that suffers greatly for their sake. This imagery of a God of the suffering, one who is with the most persecuted, powerless or despised struck me throughout this novel. Cedar’s adopted mother, Phil, Eddy, her biological grandmother and her Native family all have sacrificed something great for her.  As Cedar writes to her subscribers of the Catholic magazine she is the Editor of in her last issue of Zeal“Someone in this world will always be suffering on your behalf.  If it comes your time to suffer, just remember. Someone suffered for you. That is what taking on a cloak of human flesh is all about, the willingness to hurt for another human being”.

There is no way to escape suffering. And, there comes a time for all of us to suffer unthinkably for those we love.

Newness can feel like chaos. And, as humans, chaos usually freaks most of us out a whole lot.  But life is chaos, whether it be our inability to control super storms like Hurricane Harvey and the change in our climates that refuses to be ignored, life on this planet is a roller-coaster ride. What may be “apocalyptic” for some is not the end of the world for others.

Take Eddy and his entire character, for example. Near the end of the novel when it seems the entire (white-controlled) society is falling apart and grasping desperately to maintain control, Eddy and those on the reservation are teeming with excitement about the new possibilities that are being presented to their people because the old order of things is dying. Eddy and his people, the Ojibwe, are able to reclaim some of the land that was taken away from them, land that grandmothers had not gotten close to since their childhood and veterans fought for but couldn’t benefit from. Even disorder of the most extreme kind can bring new life.

Lastly, we learn in this novel how futile it is to try to control or contain life. Even the most intensely devised political actions to control in the name of “Christ” and under the guise of “righteous order” could not tame women from bringing new life. As I read this, I realized that women are everything to the future of our world:  we determine the physical, spiritual and political health of our planet. The future home of the living god is desolate, detained, depressed and persecuted, yet undeniably (and maybe outrageously so) hopeful. Life will not be denied new life. The woman’s song of new life continues on no matter how repressed or silenced it becomes.

It’s all in how we will right now and in the future react to these drastic social and climate changes, changes that may feel apocalyptic but may in fact be bringing new ways, uncharted territories of life, that define us.  Will we try to control, repress, and manipulate these life-bearers to our will? Or, will we, like Cedar bear witness to the beauty, and watch in the darkness with curiosity, tenderness and patience to see how the world around us grows and changes and fills with even more resilience, character and wondrous beauty. It is this beauty, the uncontainable and awe-filled power of Mother Nature, and of life-bearers, aka women 😊, that will ultimately save humanity and lead it towards a surprisingly, peaceful and even better world than we ever thought possible. ❤

In honor of Women’s History Month enjoy this music video from Ana Tijoux called Antipatriarca .

If you’ve never heard of Ana Tijoux before, she is a force of nature Chilean rap/hip-hop artist who has defied many stereotypes to speak her mind through her music.

My favorite verses of this song translated in English remind us:

I decide in my time how I want and what I want
Independent I was born, independent I decided
I don’t walk behind you, I walk alongside you
You won’t humiliate me, you won’t yell at me
You won’t put me down, you won’t hit me
You won’t denigrate me, you won’t force me
You won’t silence me, you won’t shut me up
….Beautiful women, you give life

My Journey

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Author’s Note: While I have been inspired by the powerful and courageous stories from the #MeToo movement to share my own experience with trauma, I am not a survivor of sexual assualt, and do not pretend to be. I have chosen not to share the details of a traumatic event in my life because I want to stay focused on raising awareness about trauma and mental health issues in general. If you or a loved one are going through a traumatic life experience or battling mental illness, I encourage you to seek out professional help and take a peek at some resources I have found helpful in my own journey below. Peace, Sarah

I’ve been trying to rewrite my story so many different times now, but tonight I am finally sitting down and doing it.

For the past 5 years I have battled with anxiety and post-traumatic stress due to a traumatic event in my life that happened in my early adult years. For so long I didn’t realize the health issues I was facing were linked to trauma. I couldn’t even acknowledge the fact that what I had experienced was indeed traumatic, much less speak about my experience.

Generally speaking, I think most people think of PTSD survivors as veterans, which is true but doesn’t get the whole picture. This article on the National Association of Mental Illness (NAMI) explains it well.

According to the Sidran Institute, about 8 percent of all adults, or 1 in 13 people in this country, will develop PTSD during their lifetime. Women are twice as more likely to develop it than men.

I feel incredibly fortunate to have had great support around me to heal. My family and friends mean the world to me and even when they haven’t fully understood what I’m facing, they truly have stood by me and listened. EMDR, a therapy treatment using eye movement and creative reprocessing, has helped me immensely. It was recognized in 2016 by the VA as a successful form of treatment for post-traumatic stress which I was thrilled to learn. I wouldn’t be myself again without the incredible therapists who have walked with me every step of the way.

I wanted others to know and understand a bit more of what it’s like when you are living with mental illness. So, I submitted a short entry to an organization called “Make it OK” that is doing great work to reduce the stigmatization surrounding mental health. Click here on My Story.

People who have experienced psychological trauma do not always develop a mental illness, but they do have a greater likelihood of developing one. There are direct links to communities that have higher levels of povery and violence and those that experience PTSD. Historical and psychological trauma are real. As Clincial psychologist Inger E. Burnett, an assistant professor at Northwestern University, writes:

“Trauma is more than a buzzword – the symptoms are real and have a profound impact on human lives. Until we recognize the fully realize the cyclical effects of neighborhood disorder, violence and its after effects, the open wounds in our communities cannot fully heal.”

For my fellow survivors:

We are the aftermath, the broken pieces, the wounded left behind to fight on our own. We have lived through car accidents, sexual assualt, abuse. We are people who have seen their families torn apart from mental illness, incarceration, divorce. The list goes on.

Trauma lives in the bones of our nation.

I think of the trauma mothers, spouses and 3 year old daughters in cars who have to endure in seeing their loved ones, their role models, or fathers have life taken away for no other reason than “driving while being black”; I think of all the women coming forward saying “enough”, speaking their stories in spite of reliving the pain of their dignity being violated; I think of all of the migrants here in this country newly-arrived and those who have called this country home long before settlers arrived fighting to make a better life for themselves and their families while trying to fend off the nightmares of the past and the fear of our police state taking all of that away from them.

Some people wonder who those are who battle with mental illness. Some call us “psychos” or “crazies”. Most people just don’t have any idea what it’s like to be battling mental illness.

Everyone and anyone who faces mental illness day in and day out and continues to live the best they can, to put one foot in front of the other and keep going, is truly incredible. I think we all would be a lot better off if we tried to learn from those who are facing mental illness and walk beside them instead of making jokes about their everyday battles.

They are heroes and sheroes. They are warriors. And, I hope we can start seeing them as the incredible people they are.

Online Resources: 

NAMI National Alliance on Mental Illness

Make It Okay Campaign

Books:

Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach

The Chemistry of Joy  by Dr. Henry Emmons

It Didn’t Start With You:  How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We are and How to End the Cycle  by Mark Wolynn