Month: May 2020

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I don’t know about you, but patience has never been one of my virtues. If anything, being impatient is a trait I have been able to use and harness to my advantage from time to time.

So, being stuck at home not able to gather socially, go where you want to when you want to, or just be in the world as you would like, can be rather crazy making to say the least.

The past week and a half I’ve grown quite curious as I’ve watched a succulent plant I purchased at the end of April grow in a peculiar way. When I bought this from our local grocery store I assumed it was like any other succulent I had had. Of all the succulent plants I’ve owned I have never seen one sprout a tendril apart from its own spiky leaves. So, this long trendil that appeared to be preparing to bloom into something, became a source of speculation for me this past week and a half.

What would it become? Why was it doing this? Was it even a healthy sign? Had my not-so-green thumb mutated the plant to become a weird version of itself that the plant couldn’t even recognize?!

Anyways, you get the point. The list of questions I had went on. Only time could tell what this plant would become!

Lately, I’ve been feeling as if we are all thinking thoughts similar to what I pondered about this plant, essentially asking the same questions about this strange period of time we all find ourselves in and what life will look like after all of this.

What will become of our way of life? Will school, work, life ever be the same? What does ‘normal’ even mean anymore? Will we even recognize our old ‘normal’ after all of this? Was ‘normal’ even working for all of us to begin with?

With all these questions, and stressors of daily life in addition to the uncertainties right now, it can be difficult to find balance. Some days I do find my thoughts about the future and our current predicament drifting from fantastical to morbid in less than a few minutes. Some days do really just feel like everything is spinning out of control. That sense of powerlessness is exhausting and can feel debilitating at times.

Let’s just face it:  some days (or months!) are just tough

This week I recently re-discovered a podcast called “The Hilarious World of Depression” hosted by public radio host John Moe. I find in times of stress, it can be so helpful to get out of your own head and be reminded that you are not alone, and to laugh a bit after hearing someone else do the same in discussing their troubles.

I’m not sure if it’s just me (which it totally could be) but I have really been loving historical time period novels or TV shows. Right now, I’ve been re-watching the beloved BBC series ‘Downton Abbey’ and even though the characters are fictionalized, the events that happened during the early 20^th century (i.e. sinking of the titanic, WWI, collapse of the social strata) are not. I’ve been finding re-watching this series right now to be strangely comforting, being reminded that we have lived through great tragedies and somehow made a way through to the other side is just a remarkable reminder of the resilience of the human spirit. And, even in a time where we may feel more disconnected than ever, it is totally and utterly possible that we will be more connected globally and as a society on the other side.

It is, of course, up to us.

I stumbled upon some poetry readings by Wendell Berry on the podcast “On Being” website’s page. Just listening to the sound of someone reading for a few minutes was for me as meditative and soothing as any bath or long walk outside. Take a minute or two to enjoy it!

“The Peace of Wild Things” by Wendell Berry

Now, back to that succulent! After several days of sitting around waiting and waiting to see what would become of my succulent plant I was delighted one morning to wake up and see two little white flowers had appeared.

With the help of the iNaturalist website/app, I was able to identify the type of succulent as a hawthorias, more commonly known as a “Zebra” succulent native to South Africa, Mozambique, Namibia, Lesotho and Swaziland. They tend to resemble aloe plants, but have a distinct difference in the small white flowers that bloom from the stem.

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I am reminded by these small, unassuming flowers, that life can be found anywhere. And, with a bit of patience (and maybe some gentle reminders from those we love) we can find ourselves pleasantly surprised by the new world and life around us.

Take care, and be patient, friends!

A few weeks ago, when we were still in the early stages of our stay at home order in Minnesota, I was driving by a nearby lake trying to clear my head. It was then that I first realized one of the oddities of being physically distant from each other:  no one else is around to laugh when you make a mistake, mess up, or are generally acting like an idiot!

I saw a young woman trying very determinedly to stretch her calves by standing on a park bench, the bench clearly had the upper hand in this scenario, and despite her clear struggle to stay balanced, she toppled backward into the grass. In the few seconds after she looked to her left, then looked to her right…and instantaneously burst into laughter. That woman, like so many of us these days, might be caught by surprise when we realize there’s no one else around to judge us! Perhaps, in these current times with less of a (physical) audience at our disposal than we are used to, we can learn to be more fully ourselves.

I’ve been thinking back to that situation because for me it makes me think of what a funny place we find ourselves in these days. We are all just a bunch of weirdos trying to do the best we can. We are so used to having an audience or a group of people in front of us, whether it be family or friends to laugh at our own stupidity at times. But now, we are the ones who get to be delighted and entertained by our own weirdness. After all, recognizing our own stupidity and awkwardness is what makes us remember we are human.

We are all just a bunch of weirdos trying to do the best we can.

I’ve been struck by the thought this week that with each loss we face, therein lies a new opportunity: the chance to try something new we have never made before with what we have left in our kitchens; increased time on our hands to revisit an old hobby; fully realize a day dream we thought we had put to rest; or just to spend more time in our sweatpants😊.

I’ve been asking myself, like so many of us are right now trying to find solid ground on shifting sand:

What am I missing? What has been lost (at least for the time being)?

My answers: embracing family, BBQs, s’mores and bonfires, concerts, going to the library and browsing books, sitting in a coffeeshop and drinking up all their free water, getting happy hour and sitting on a patio, freedom to travel when and where I want to whenever I want!

I allow myself some time to stew and be angry and sad about the things I miss.

And, then I’ve asked myself:

What can be renewed? My answers: A weekly writing practice, attempts at meditation 3 minutes a day, sticking to healthy routines

What can be revived? My answers: walks in nature, learning to be more patient, cooking a bit more creatively than normal, buying things with more intentionally and purpose

What can be restored? My answers: Time spent cleaning and taking care of the space where I live, tuning off from Facebook and social media and tuning in to the landscape and neighbors around me more

I challenge you to ask yourself some of these questions, and remember none of us have the perfect answers right now.

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This week I stumbled upon an incredible daily activity made available by Suleika Jaouad called The Isolation Journals. The idea for Isolation journals was first created when Suleika battled lukeima during her 20’s and spent “100 days” coming up with new ways to connect with family and friends and have something to look forward to. The Isolation Journals include different prompts for each day by different authors. It really is a fun and interesting way to approach journaling, and allows you to experience it by yourself while knowing hundreds of people are also writing that day from the same journal prompt!

A few days ago on day 28 of the “Isolation Journals” Ayodele Casel shared her own journey overcoming fear. The prompt of the day was: “Write about a time when your bravery or curiosity was stronger than your fear. If it moves you, dance it out.”

It amazes me how being brave enough to try something new can lead to a totally new way of seeing things and being able to laugh at ourselves is oftentimes the most healing balm we can find! I have been re-discovering, like so many of us, that creativity and humor make grief more bearable especially during difficult times. For me, watching and listening to comedians like Conan O’Brien, Ali Wong, Tina Fey, Melissa Villasenor, Eddie Murphy, Amy Poehler (and so many more) makes me feel a bit more human, and a bit more hopeful.

Creativity and humor make grief more bearable.

With all the loss around us right now, let’s remind each other that it’s okay to still find things to laugh at, whether it’s birds or random people we see falling off park benches. 😊 

Lastly, I would like to share 2 poems with you that I’ve been reflecting on this week.

Poem of the One World by Mary Oliver

This morning

the beautiful white heron

was floating along above the water

and then into the sky of this

the one world

we all belong to

where everything

sooner or later

is a part of everything else

which thought made me feel

for a little while

quite beautiful myself.

“Hope” is the thing with feathers by Emily Dickinson

“Hope” is the thing with feathers –
That perches in the soul –
And sings the tune without the words –
And never stops – at all –

And sweetest – in the Gale – is heard –
And sore must be the storm –
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm –

I’ve heard it in the chillest land –
And on the strangest Sea –
Yet – never – in Extremity,
It asked a crumb – of me.

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Be well, be brave, and keep laughing, friends!